well lets start this off, the Cornstarch Gizmo I ws invited for the screening this month and I am so psyched not that I have a lot of lines besides seducing opposite sex but hey you see me right? I have been recently focusing head on with my career. I have plenty of new photos and am having a ball.
I recently signed up with a non-exclusive agency for now but honey I want lights. I want to do what I want to do. But baby steps before you can run right, wasn't it Shakespeare who said "wisely and slow they stumble that run fast" favorite quote from him by the way.
I feel like a lot has been lifted when it comes to the course of things I am aiming for. Things feel lighter. I feel a little bit more alive everyday. I have made a healthy progress of handling my past a lot better, of course he won't be thrilled to know I published my poetry about him but writing has always been my first outlet so he can't be all that surprised.
I have a graduation coming up in April and I need a dress. I need something thats me written in as bold as I am. I'm audacious and I'm honest the sort of honesty that gets that complaint that I take as a compliment "Your so honest". =) so I want to say me. Say who I am. As a model, actress, dancer, writer, singer, linguistics lover gastronome =D all those things that say C.A.D.M.A. hmph I need a shop outside of this planet or at least where others like me go.
I have noticed some changes within myself, and it seems my original nature as a child has returned very slowly. If your not close to me, I become competitive. When I say competitive that means people who aggravate me or simply enjoy demeaning others to get on top, I annihilate them. I make it a goal. And for the things I desire anyone in my way is a problem. I was a friendly child growing up but anyone getting in my way to stir up chaos for me was going to rundown by my boots. This was with grades, tests, performance it's how I always was. If you played nice I'd work with you and since most people can't handle the honesty I have even when I was little, I took out many for the sake of them being in my way. I'm not a vicious witch I'm workable but I have had so many obstacles in my way and sooooo oh man sooooooooo dam many people working against me, pretending to be supportive and underneath it all not really caring and those are the people I remove from my life or if they get in my way removed by force.
hopefully this competitive nature of mine, will do me some good
